And this one will wrap up the last of the FPS games I’ve tried out for the Xbox 360 so far. This one, actually held my co-w0rker Don and mine’s attention for a little bit longer. There seemed to be a storyline that was beginning to develop, I still couldn’t hear a damn word that was being said to me. Even after fiddling with the sound controls. Thank-goodness for the subtitles. Anyhow, my first thought on this game was creepy. It’s all dark, and even when you’ve got a flashlight out you can’t see anything.

You first meet up with some other investigator and he takes you to the crime scene. He’s muttering on and on about the storyline or something meanwhile I’m trying not to run into walls from the PITCH dark. Thought I was playing Doom 3 for a bit. (Flashlight mod included!) You get to the scene, it’s kinda weird. They tell you how to take forensic evidence..which means using a spiffy glowy camera to take pictures which you then e-mail or send to your CSI-like lab buddy back at the station who immediately analyzes it and tells you wtf it is. “Ohhh. So that was blood all over her body and not Kool-aid. Gotcha. Thanks for the hot tip. Guess that rules out the kindergarteners as suspects.” Anyhow, you move on as always and something happens and you are sent off chasing some criminal through the building. Oh and apparently there’s other criminals in here too. Who just like to randomly attack you because they’re hopped up on some drug. Way to cordon off the area guys. I’m grateful that you thoroughly searched the building for clues oh and that’s right. The killer. I don’t expect perfection from a game, but glaring errors like that just annoy me. I mean I could assume that because it’s a large building that they didn’t get every nook and cranny, or that vagrants have slipped in while the police were eating some donuts but wtf. They make it realistic by making sure I can’t find any ammo for my gun, so I have to make do with pipes and other objects, but in a building where there’s been a murder that’s been cordoned off by police forces, they didn’t search the place and find these druggies before hand?? Whatever.

I didn’t get the chance to do much hand to hand combat. I wasn’t exactly enthused to try either. If I want melee combat I’ll play Dungeons and Dragons or something. So yeah. I had my pistol. Used all my ammo on the aforementioned druggies and then I somehow drop my gun after I get hurt. The bad guy I was chasing stops, takes it and goes away. Of course my next objective is to retrieve my gun. Meanwhile I’m thinking. “No no. That’s okay. There’s no more bullets. I had 5 to begin with. I used em. Punk can keep it as a trophy. I’d much prefer to leave and get a drink.” Sadly, I think the game developers had other plans. That was about as far as I got for it was late and I still had to leave the office to go home.

Graphically the game looks really nice. The environment is pretty the lighting is well done. Everything looks great, except the people. The only game lately that I’ve seen do some decent looking people has been Half Life 2 and even FEAR to some extent. The guys in this game looked like they’d been beaten with the ugly tree. Maybe the model designers tried a bit too hard to make them look tough and gritty. I’m amazed at how well games can make vehicles/buildings/environments, but when it comes down to people, we just still can’t quite get it. We can get clothing to ruffle and move and flow, we can get hair to blow in the wind but the human face seems to be an extremely hard thing to reproduce. Or maybe it just takes too much to do it really well and the designers decide to sacrifice there instead of the environment. I don’t know. I only play the games.

Criminal Origins seemed to have a decent storyline building up, as opposed to Perfect Dark Zero where you’re just kinda randomly thrown into the mix, or King Kong where I think if you’d seen the movie beforehand the game would have been better. But I have yet to see the movie (yes, I know. He dies in the end.) So Giant Crab Attack! (might have to get that trademarked) seems to be the theme of the day for that.

Personally, I’m not fond of creepy games. Not in the least. FEAR kept me going because I had an assault weapon and there was plenty of shooting action. Games that limit your ammo and ability to fight against the hordes of the undead/paranormal/creepy pyschopaths, they’re uhh… Not my friend.

2 Responses to “Condemned Criminal Origins”

  1. Griffin Says:

    You must have damaged your ears from listening to excessive amounts of Demon Hunter at max volume.

  2. Matt Says:

    Ohhhh aren’t you funny.

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